When the alarm goes off in the morning do you automatically roll out of bed on autopilot or click the snooze button for a few more minutes of extra shut eye?
Wake up calls come in many shapes and sizes. All calls are an opportunity to take action, pay attention and change your life for the better.
The choice is whether we heed the call.
In the last couple of years I noticed that I felt downhearted and hopeless in life and work and the by-product of these emotions was now presenting itself front and centre in my experience. My current job is not perfect, though it is paying the bills, so why would I jeopardise my job in the long term??
Here was the point I realised I was sabotaging myself and not only in this moment, in others too!
My self–sabotaging had been manifesting in my life as over eating, quitting an activity because it was ‘too hard’ and making careless mistakes at work spurred on by telling myself that ‘I hated myself’!
Such a waste of emotional energy when I knew I could do a good job and make healthy food choices.
Here is what I discovered:
Self sabotage is like watching a thief steal opportunities right from under your nose only it’s yourself you’re stealing from!
The truth is I wasn’t doing this consciously. For the second time in a week I had made a rookie mistake at work and knew it was time to confront the issue head on.
Carelessness is being disrespectful and irresponsible to ourselves and those around us. I knew I could be and do better. Here was my opportunity to heed the call and so with some gentle questions I began exploring the issue, because I knew I didn’t hate myself!
So what was it specifically about the feeling I had that these reactions were creating? And there was my aha moment! It was my behaviour that I disliked not myself!! The answer brought a feeling of deep respect and gentle compassion within me and my day was changed in the blink of an eye.
How often have you sabotaged a job or relationship because you didn’t like it anymore?
Were you aware how this behaviour was coming from a lack of responsibility for your own circumstances?? Did you think someone else would change the situation when you weren’t willing to do this for yourself?
I believe that unconsciously our intention is not to sabotage ourselves or hurt others. I believe our intention is to feel better at that particular moment in time. And learning how to change this and believing that we can are the first steps.
With awareness of our actions and responses the outcomes in our life return to our control and conscious responsibility.
So today and going forwards, I’m paying attention to my own engagement at work and in life, after all why create a problem where there is none?!
Maya Angelou sums this up perfectly
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”